New to Club Popbitch?
Get previous Second Serve issues [here]
The Popbitch Popquiz archive is [here]
The Daily Audio Quiz archive is [here] |
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“Do you really think I’m going to smash loads of cocaine before I go and stand in front of 12,000 people? This isn’t the fucking 70s. I’m not Tommy Lee. I can’t handle that” – Lewis Capaldi |
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A second serving of scandal and slander Subscribe
Email stories to us club@popbitch.com
* Corden: complaining and explaining
* Rishi: delegating the shit shift
* PLUS: Happy birthday, Blobby! |
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>> Sun burn << |
Throwing shade |
It was a full weekend of fevered speculation about Boris’s chances of running for PM again. News channels ran live footage of his plane touching down. MPs were crawling up to him with endorsements, while pundits parroted every line his backers put out.
Yet the man himself ended up sputtering out late Sunday night, saying he was withdrawing despite being eligible for the ballot. Why?
Apparently one of the factors that clinched it for him was learning that the Sun’s planned front page for today was one urging him not to run. |
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Jo Johnson spotted going into a shoe repair shop on Camden High Street this afternoon. Boris clearly not the only Johnson with an affinity for cobblers. |
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>> Dry your eyes << |
No more sneaky inserts |
As Liz Truss leaves office barely seven weeks after she started, journalists were only really just warming up with their mucky in-jokes about well-worn Westminster rumours.
This week, it was the turn of Tim Shipman and Caroline Wheeler in the Sunday Times who wrote this line about the day of her resignation.
“That was how she received Sir Graham Brady, chairman of the 1922 Committee, who was photographed slipping in by the rear entrance to Downing Street at 11.43am.” |
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Liz Truss’s nickname around Westminster during her exceedingly brief tenure? “The Hole”. |
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>> Passing the muck << |
Taking care of business |
Rishi Sunak will enter No.10 with an awful lot of shit to deal with – so how is he poised to cope?
While he was out talking in the Downing Street garden one afternoon earlier this year, Rishi spotted his dog Nova squatting in a flowerbed, curling out a turd.
Like any responsible dog owner, Rishi dutifully picked the poo up after her.
And then handed it off to an aide to take care of. |
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Rishi Sunak has watched Meryl Streep/Maggie Thatcher biopic The Iron Lady four times. |
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>> Corden blah << |
Complaining and explaining |
James Corden gave an interview to the New York Times late last week in which he insisted he didn’t actually do anything wrong when he was being a dick to the serving staff at Balthazar.
Though he says he might allude to the incident on his talk show tonight, he insists that he’s really more of a “Never complain, never explain” type.
Perhaps he’d like to tell his PR agency that? They’ve been sending out letters to outlets complaining about the recent unflattering coverage of their client, and they’ve been making a particular point of explaining to anyone who has mentioned it that the infamous Popbitch plane story is a “complete fabrication”.
It isn’t – and we told them as much when they complained to us about it a few years back too. |
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More celebrity customer reviews: “David Walliams – as expected, an absolutely monumental arsehole. Insisted that he only be approached from the right.” |
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>> Helping Hands << |
A prawnographer speaks |
Guy Hands was interviewed on the Today programme this morning and gave a rather bleak assessment of the British economy. If anyone has learned the hard way how to spot a financial catastrophe, it’s Guy Hands.
Hands is probably best known as the investor who almost toppled EMI, amassing billions in debt and very nearly cratering a massive part of the British music industry – but it’s not his funniest disaster investment.
He also dabbled in the British film industry too at the turn of the century when tax breaks (and rampant fraud) were at their peak. He put up a huge chunk of the money behind a film called Crust.
What was it about? It was the story of a pub landlord who finds a seven foot giant mutant prawn on a beach – and teaches it to box.
[No trailer; but amazing poster art] |
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Guy Hands once had hypnotherapy to stop him from obsessing about roast potatoes and gravy so much. |
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>> Unexpected guest << |
Blobby’s gonna get you |
As today marks the 30th anniversary of Mr Blobby first appearing on British TV, a little memory from the Blobby wilderness era.
S writes:
“At a party in Dorset I met a very nice and rather urbane man who used to work for Noel Edmonds at his ill-fated Crinkly Bottom theme park. When it closed down he nicked the Mr Blobby suit. Sometimes, when he has people round to dinner, he sneaks off and changes into it, then suddenly bursts into the room in the big pink and yellow spotted outfit, totally freaking them out.” |
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Back in his Live & Kicking days, John Barrowman used to try to get Mr Blobby to jump on top of him whenever he had the chance because he fancied the guy who wore the suit. |
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>> Cleesy does it << |
Clearing up the Grimes |
Darren Grimes will no doubt be feeling he had a lucky escape after bosses at GB News decided not to let him go over the complaints about his workplace harassment.
He shouldn’t get too comfortable though.
His Saturday slot is currently the one that those same bosses are looking to clear – so they can hand it over to John Cleese. |
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Scott Mills says his most embarrassing moment on radio was hiring a Russell Brand lookalike to surprise Katy Perry on air – and it making her burst into tears. |
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>> Popquiz << |
This week’s audio rounds |
Last week, there were audio rounds on Body Parts, Big Things, Little Things and, rather helpfully for our 250th quiz, a Liz Truss resignation special.
This week, we’ve slashed another fifty songs into ribbons and weaved the pieces up into five three-minute mixes for you to test you pop knowledge on. You get a point for every song you correctly identify and another for every artist too.
Monday’s Theme: The Great Boris Comeback
[Play it here] |
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We hit the milestone mark on Friday. There are now 250 audio quizzes available in the Club Popbitch archives; about ten and half hours’ worth. You can play any of them whenever you like [here]. |
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>> Hmmms << |
A few quick things |
What’s going on with Kanye’s private school?
[Read on Business Insider]
Read Nadhim Zahawi’s almost-instantly deleted article about Boris Johnson’s prospects
[Archived copy here]
As she’s been reflecting on it over the weekend, here’s Madonna’s old coffee book SEX
[A PDF grab of it]
A history of Taylor Swift’s swearing
[Read on Gawker] |
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Thanks to: S, PD, intheissynoho, GP, DJ, HT |
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Old Jokes Home
I bought a book about how to scam people online.
It’s been six months and I still haven’t received it. |
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