The Second Serve // Poppers On Arrival

Gary Lineker was watching the Morocco v Portugal quarter final at Zuma in Doha. A Kuwaiti guy on the next table at half-time turned to Lineker’s table and said “Sorry to disturb, but I think you are famous… you’re on the television?”

Gary Lineker blushed a bit but looked pleased and said “Well, yes actually, I am.”

“I knew it!” said the fellow diner. “Are you Piers Morgan?”

The celebrity on Scruff who’s been getting a little snippy with younger lads who refuse to believe they’re chatting with a famous actor is Matt Lucas. Getting a personalised video message from Matt appears to be something of a rite of passage for anyone who joins Scruff; sort of like getting a DM on Twitter from Jedward. If you wait around long enough, it will happen eventually.

The high watermark for matching with gay celebs on the apps was always Russell Tovey. Not only is he charming, he would send a car for you and would have champagne and poppers waiting on arrival.

The fallout from the “Rural Rivalry” aside, there’s another reason Prince Harry is getting pissy with the press for siding with William. It dates back to when the News of the World did him over with their “Harry’s Drug Shame” front page back in 2002.

Harry’s not entirely correct to say that the press was never prepared to lie for him, as they did sand off some of the edges of that story to spare the young prince too many blushes – capping the story at a bit of youthful pot smoking.

The journalists who broke the story knew he’d dabbled in a little more than that, but they also had testimony from witnesses that William was present and had indulged in the demon weed too. Yet the press never mentioned that bit. And Wills never got sent off for a token spell in rehab like Harry did either.

Back when Matt Hancock was a junior minister, he was due to hand out the awards at an event set up by an education charity. Shortly before the event was due to start, the charity received a message that Hancock had been detained by urgent parliamentary business and would no longer be able to make it.

His press officer was furious to have to relay that message and deal with the embarrassing fallout. Not least because they knew that the “urgent parliamentary business” that was detaining him was… a jog in St James’s Park.

Now that China is starting to loosen its Zero-Covid policies, there’s a new dating trend being reported in China media. “Ziu You” (literal meaning: “Mouth Buddies”) is finding someone online to meet up with for kissing sessions.

The rules for meeting a “mouth buddy” are that it’s only kissing; not the start of a relationship or any sex – and you are essentially meeting anonymously as strangers. Most people are reported to not contact their kissing buddy after their first kissing date.

JH writes:
“Years ago I worked in a theatre doing sound, and Bodger and Badger were starring in panto. After a matinee performance, where the children in the audience were thrilled at the twosome’s opening routine, Bodger and Badger came off stage to rapturous applause. As they walked past me, standing stage right, Bodger didn’t look at me at all. Badger, however, turned to me as they went past and said ‘Bunch of fucking cunts’.”

BG writes:
“Just before Christmas 1999, my then-boyfriend, a music teacher, was taking a a mini-bus of kids from a school near Sloane Square to a concert. He reversed into Joanna Lumley’s car and broke her tail light. He apologised and offered the school insurance details. She said, ‘Don’t worry, darling, I can pay for it. Now take those children to their performance!'”

CG writes:
“15 or so years ago Rick Astley moved in four doors up from my parents. This was prime ‘Rick-rolling’ time, and a young family member was very excited to visit us for Christmas as he collected autographs. He put a very polite note through Rick’s front door explaining he was staying four doors down and would love an autograph if Rick had time to put one through the door. On Christmas morning the doorbell rang and Rick was on the doorstep, offering autographs and photos for any family members that wanted one. He even stayed for a glass of champagne.”

Last week saw music quizzes on the topics of Countdowns, Shaggers and The Worst Of The Worst.

This week, we’re going to have a TV week, with songs from soundtracks of various beloved series. Ten tracks that appeared on the shows throughout their runs will be cracked into pieces and arranged haphazardly in a line for you to inspect.

Correctly identify the song? You get a point. Correctly identify the artist? You get a point. With ten songs each day, that’s twenty points on offer – and a hundred points through the week.

Monday’s theme: Buffy The Vampire Slayer

[Play it here]

The Big Xmas Mix
[Listen on Soundcloud]

The Year Of The Nepo Baby
[Read on Vulture]

No explanation; just a link
[Mariah’s Pop]

Good article on how dating apps began
[Read on The Atlantic]

Fader’s is the latest top 100 singles list for 2022
[See them here]