The Second Serve // The Personal Touch

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez’s wedding ceremony at the weekend had most of the press feeling all loved up, but we can’t really take Affleck seriously as a big romance guy after all the backstage stories we’ve heard about him over the years. We’ve told the hot mic story and the finest growler story relatively recently, so here’s the other Affleck classic.

Many years ago, a crewmember on a film that Gwyneth Paltrow was shooting was tasked with calling her to the set. There was no answer when he knocked on her trailer door, so he popped his head in to check she was alright only to find her giving her then-boyfriend Ben Affleck a rather enthusiastic blowjob.

There was no shouting, no screams of panic. The only words spoken were from Affleck, who wearily said: “Not now, Carlos…”

Seeing as we’ve kept you up to speed on the rest of Boris Johnson’s relocation plans for when he leaves No.10, here’s the listing for the new house he’s bought with Carrie in Herne Hill.

Among the celebrity neighbours the Johnsons can soon expect to bump into are La Roux (a regular at Steve’s Café), Jay Rayner and Mark Rylance (who lives, aptly, on Shakespeare Road).

[See the new digs]

MT writes:
“I once saw Janet Street-Porter at a PR event. She’d just been interviewed by Kirsty Young for Desert Island Discs so I went over to congratulate her. She smiled and with her full nasal squawk replied,

“‘Awww, thank you. I tried to get on it years ago, but that cunt Sue Lawley wouldn’t ‘ave me!'”

We were very sad to hear the news about Darius Campbell Danesh. Those who worked with him over the years remembered his unique generosity.

Usually if a star name goes to the trouble of getting leaving gifts for the supporting cast at the end of their West End run, they get a job lot of something and dish the same gift out to everyone. Not Darius though.

On the last night of his run as Billy Flynn in Chicago, he handed out individual presents to every last member of the cast and crew. They were all so touched by the gesture that they chose to overlook the fact that some of the gifts still had handwritten tags attached to them – addressed to Darius and signed by his adoring fans…

AW writes:
“While working as a young researcher at a national radio station I went to collect a blind guest from the reception. I greeted the gentleman, taking his arm and guiding him to the lift, taking care to let him know about doors or steps to avoid. When I got to the studio, the producer looked at us both standing there, arm in arm, and said: ‘That isn’t our blind guest!’ It was the politician David Davis. He didn’t seem to mind the personal touch.”

CE writes:
“Years ago, working on the local paper in Reading, one of the jobs for junior hacks was trawling through the planning applications looking for stories. One day someone noticed a U Geller in Sonning applying for a high wall. A hack was despatched to see if it was the U Geller.

“He knocked on the door and introduced himself. Uri was at first wary, saying he didn’t want it known where he lived as the Israeli secret service was after him. To his credit, the reporter replied: ‘Well if the Reading Evening Post can find you, I expect Mossad can.’

“Uri relented and invited him in, gave the full spoon routine and a friendly chat.”

After a little summer break, we’re back with more daily music quizzes for you. Monday to Friday will see ten songs being crumbled up into chunks and then sprinkled into a two-and-a-bit minute mix. All you have to do is figure out the ten songs in them (a point each) and the ten artists who recorded them (a second point each).

Ten songs, twenty points, a hundred for the whole week. Couldn’t be easier.

Monday’s theme: Extraterrestrial

[Play it here]

The Child Mullet Championships 2022
[Well done to all winners]

Scientists say: Dolphins are “basically arseholes”
[Read more at ABC]

One of summer’s big dance tracks, BOTA, is based around a synth sample from Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam’s Let the Beat Hit ‘Em from 1991. It’s likely to be number one this week
[Listen on Spotify]

Better Call Saul as a Pixar trailer
[Watch on YouTube]